in the fear of repetition i sit paralyzed-andwith the dim light of my laptop,an old friend comes to host. a muse so old,my bones ache for their touch,their presence;a second home.in the aftermath of our last visit,i stood bruised,undefeated but alone.oh my childhood companion,when'd you turn into a foe?for years we shared the same desires,the … Continue reading beauty and the beast
on describing why i think im in love
in knowing you i have found that lossis in every minute of everyday,like your smile,that disappears, far to often,keeping me desperate,to act,react,bring it forth again.i have found that loss doesn't just explode,no-it is far more insidious.it diffuses,leaking gas to every corner,waiting for a stroke,a lit match,to explode.it permeates in every moment i live,i breathewith you.cause … Continue reading on describing why i think im in love
the feeling of joy
mystified by early mornings,i riseto the vast lonely airvisiting my room thattickles my ear,with her soft whispers of"look outside" and as ipeer out my window,i see nothing except-eyes; searching for what i had wished to see. leaving it behind,i run-embarrassed,by my eagerness,to find- yet i feel hercaress my neckasking me to trycalling for you,only for … Continue reading the feeling of joy
musings from this silly heart of mine.
i've found myself yearning for more than i have,but i think,its already passed me- as though it were the wind, from when i was a childdeeply afraidof what would happen tomorrow,that came,to shiver,and escape my tightening embrace. prickling my skin,as i run my nails,across,trying to soothe,an itch. i want more than i can fathom,more than … Continue reading musings from this silly heart of mine.
ramblings of a sad boi uwu lol
Trigger Warning: this poem is literally the ramblings of my very depressed and anxious mind and i talk about some life experiences such as being queer, the possibility of getting raped and the way my mental illness manifests within me, so please read with caution. i wish i was anyone but me often. someone who … Continue reading ramblings of a sad boi uwu lol
oh daydream, leave me alone.
memories of you fall in line,as songs we sang,fall to my lips,running down; hurried,only to become slowly stagnant. grasping one-two fingers,and finally my hand,a muffled heart squirming to gasp. how have you come to existence?and why must you go? i know it's known,but never has what is known,stopped one from hope. all ends reach their … Continue reading oh daydream, leave me alone.
i sit in my room, looking out my window, the building in the distance, has sun shining its warmth on them. while my room, it sits in the dark, wishing for her kiss too. i kiss her too, in the laziness of summer, watch her eyes flutter, flecks of gold, remind me of a love … Continue reading light
wrote it thinking about you
sometimes love can't be emptied, no matter how parched- you can gasp, longingly, for reprieve. no matter how filled the jar, it refuses to leave. almost like gravity, has saved you from consuming me, or maybe, it saves me. it is almost insanity, but you can't have me, love has never guaranteed, access. but love … Continue reading wrote it thinking about you
There are days that can go by, Things you forget, And even though the guilt is overwhelming, Believe that it is for the best. They can never die, The memory of their existence will never fade, But honey, Give yourself some leeway. You've got a life to live, A life to enjoy, A life to … Continue reading Goodbye.
to act on our choices, would be simpler if we recognized, just that.