beauty and the beast

in the fear of repetition i sit paralyzed-andwith the dim light of my laptop,an old friend comes to host. a muse so old,my bones ache for their touch,their presence;a second the aftermath of our last visit,i stood bruised,undefeated but alone.oh my childhood companion,when'd you turn into a foe?for years we shared the same desires,the … Continue reading beauty and the beast


on describing why i think im in love

in knowing you i have found that lossis in every minute of everyday,like your smile,that disappears, far to often,keeping me desperate,to act,react,bring it forth again.i have found that loss doesn't just explode,no-it is far more diffuses,leaking gas to every corner,waiting for a stroke,a lit match,to permeates in every moment i live,i breathewith you.cause … Continue reading on describing why i think im in love

the feeling of joy

mystified by early mornings,i riseto the vast lonely airvisiting my room thattickles my ear,with her soft whispers of"look outside" and as ipeer out my window,i see nothing except-eyes; searching for what i had wished to see. leaving it behind,i run-embarrassed,by my eagerness,to find- yet i feel hercaress my neckasking me to trycalling for you,only for … Continue reading the feeling of joy

musings from this silly heart of mine.

i've found myself yearning for more than i have,but i think,its already passed me- as though it were the wind, from when i was a childdeeply afraidof what would happen tomorrow,that came,to shiver,and escape my tightening embrace. prickling my skin,as i run my nails,across,trying to soothe,an itch. i want more than i can fathom,more than … Continue reading musings from this silly heart of mine.

ramblings of a sad boi uwu lol

Trigger Warning: this poem is literally the ramblings of my very depressed and anxious mind and i talk about some life experiences such as being queer, the possibility of getting raped and the way my mental illness manifests within me, so please read with caution. i wish i was anyone but me often. someone who … Continue reading ramblings of a sad boi uwu lol

oh daydream, leave me alone.

memories of you fall in line,as songs we sang,fall to my lips,running down; hurried,only to become slowly stagnant. grasping one-two fingers,and finally my hand,a muffled heart squirming to gasp. how have you come to existence?and why must you go? i know it's known,but never has what is known,stopped one from hope. all ends reach their … Continue reading oh daydream, leave me alone.

wrote it thinking about you

sometimes love can't be emptied, no matter how parched- you can gasp, longingly, for reprieve. no matter how filled the jar, it refuses to leave. almost like gravity, has saved you from consuming me, or maybe, it saves me. it is almost insanity, but you can't have me, love has never guaranteed, access. but love … Continue reading wrote it thinking about you