Dear N, by Tathagata

Dear N,
How has Tokyo been treating you?
Do you feel the air you breathe in your lungs or does it hit your brain with a sigh of relief?
Are you able to look deep into a man’s eye and say “I love you” without a thought and any regrets?

N, I miss walking down the road we used every day for 10 years.
I miss not being able to hold your hands without a single worry.
N, do you stare at men with your lusty eyes and greedy lips without feeling a single drop of love and being loved.
N, I want to hold you between my arms and see the plain sky, nothing extraordinary as we have always been boring and insightful.
I wish to meet you again without being held back by my mistakes and grievances but not everything is so easy.
I am unable to imagine holding you in my arms without the fear of hurting myself again.
It is difficult for me to imagine a world for the two of us, without imagining ‘him’, you call him “prince charming” with a slight stab of your tongue under your breath.
It is difficult for me to move on and say “hello” without memories gushing into me.
I am sorry ‘N’ for being the black crow of your relationship (even though it was my fault) I am unable to imagine myself being happy without causing any pain in your life.
I want to be the prince charming in your life and see your half sunken eyes in mine, call you mine.
But it is something which has taken me some time to come to terms with.
I wish I could meet you where we lost our hearts and danced to the whims of our mind.
love,
Tojo

Tathagata is a beautifully talented writer and most of his work is filled with poignant memories. He’s a bubble of fluff filled with truthful sarcasm. Incredibly self-depreciating but if I say so myself, he is not a waste of oxygen or space. To read more of his work or contact him you can click here.
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