You ever need someone?

Need their presence to calm you down.

Need them,
And only them,
to tell you that everything is going to be alright.

Need them to hold you.

Promise you that now you’re safe,
They are here,
And you are safe.

It’s a strange realization.

Because suddenly logic and rationale are no longer important,
Unless they are the ones giving you that logic and rationale.

It’s a strange realization,
That now faith in logic and rationale,
Comes from them.

That everyone else in the world,
Could be wrong,
Because for some reason,
They don’t know
Whatever it is,
As well as this one person in your life can.

I mean,
In our own ways,
We all do that,
We have faith in our doctors about medical conditions over everyone else,
We have faith in our teachers about how we are doing academically over everyone else,
We have faith in the opinions of people close to us about whether we are good people,
And we have faith in the opinions of the world as a whole, about whether what we are doing is acceptable.

Logic and rationale have always been backed up by faith we hold for the people giving us that information.

But it becomes strange,
When things you used to say to yourself,
Had faith in yourself,
To remind you of things,
Suddenly need to be told to you by this other person,
And you don’t even question it,
Because you trust them.

You trust them to know you.

To know what you need.

To know how to get to know what you need.

Because somewhere along the road,
You became unfaithful to yourself,

and your mind now sees them as more concerned about you
than you are.

So you sit there in the corner,
Consoling yourself,
Telling yourself the same things,
But it doesn’t believe them,
It doesn’t sink into your gut,
Until they repeat the same words back to you.

And that’s a strange realization.

Needing someone,

Trusting someone,

When you’ve had to hold yourself up for so long by yourself,

it’s a strange realization.


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