in knowing you i have found that lossis in every minute of everyday,like your smile,that disappears, far to often,keeping me desperate,to act,react,bring it forth again.i have found that loss doesn't just explode,no-it is far more insidious.it diffuses,leaking gas to every corner,waiting for a stroke,a lit match,to explode.it permeates in every moment i live,i breathewith you.cause … Continue reading on describing why i think im in love
Friendships. I've been thinking a lot about what it is to be someone's friend,as recently, I was thrusted into a situation that was extremely uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. Starting from feeling like I was being rushed to feel the depths of emotion for a person that I didn't have, to feeling like I … Continue reading Can we be friends?
In the years that my life seemed to be getting on better tracks, I've left this blog to die. I felt like I had told and retold all versions of my pain and on a journey of what was a more healthier life this blog would not hold a strong place, mostly because this became … Continue reading 2022 Update
mystified by early mornings,i riseto the vast lonely airvisiting my room thattickles my ear,with her soft whispers of"look outside" and as ipeer out my window,i see nothing except-eyes; searching for what i had wished to see. leaving it behind,i run-embarrassed,by my eagerness,to find- yet i feel hercaress my neckasking me to trycalling for you,only for … Continue reading the feeling of joy
i've found myself yearning for more than i have,but i think,its already passed me- as though it were the wind, from when i was a childdeeply afraidof what would happen tomorrow,that came,to shiver,and escape my tightening embrace. prickling my skin,as i run my nails,across,trying to soothe,an itch. i want more than i can fathom,more than … Continue reading musings from this silly heart of mine.
Trigger Warning: this poem is literally the ramblings of my very depressed and anxious mind and i talk about some life experiences such as being queer, the possibility of getting raped and the way my mental illness manifests within me, so please read with caution. i wish i was anyone but me often. someone who … Continue reading ramblings of a sad boi uwu lol
memories of you fall in line,as songs we sang,fall to my lips,running down; hurried,only to become slowly stagnant. grasping one-two fingers,and finally my hand,a muffled heart squirming to gasp. how have you come to existence?and why must you go? i know it's known,but never has what is known,stopped one from hope. all ends reach their … Continue reading oh daydream, leave me alone.
i sit in my room, looking out my window, the building in the distance, has sun shining its warmth on them. while my room, it sits in the dark, wishing for her kiss too. i kiss her too, in the laziness of summer, watch her eyes flutter, flecks of gold, remind me of a love … Continue reading light
sometimes love can't be emptied, no matter how parched- you can gasp, longingly, for reprieve. no matter how filled the jar, it refuses to leave. almost like gravity, has saved you from consuming me, or maybe, it saves me. it is almost insanity, but you can't have me, love has never guaranteed, access. but love … Continue reading wrote it thinking about you
writing becomes hard when writing is a form of catharsis, and at this moment the things you have to say, you feel you can't write, can't admit to. like wanting to be angry at someone who hasn't been here for a while. like wanting to beg for answers from someone who doesn't have them. like … Continue reading Trying to write again